Nurturing Faith

My two daughters stood beside me, their young voices blending with the congregation's. As we reached the chorus of "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus," I felt a lump form in my throat. They are young and haven’t yet faced the challenges that accompany a life of following Jesus. But here they were, singing these precious words: "I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back... Though none go with me, still I will follow... My cross I’ll carry till I see Jesus.” [1]

For years, my husband and I have fervently prayed for our children. We ask for wisdom as we teach them the ways of the Lord. We ask God to continually draw them into a closer relationship with Him. The words they sang are the cry of my heart, and I fiercely pray that my children will truly make them their own. However, if my daughters take these words as their own, it in no way reflects my parenting. It reflects God’s goodness. As Christian parents, we have the privilege of raising our children in the ways of the Lord.

The Biblical Mandate for Discipleship

Christian parents are instructed by God to teach their children about Him. Right away in Genesis, we see the first parents, Adam and Eve, receive the command to be “fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). When God asks them to multiply, He is commanding both physical and spiritual multiplication. Adam and Eve weren’t simply to have children to populate the earth. They were to raise those children to know and love the Lord. They were tasked with creating disciples, followers of God.

Later, we see God instruct His people in Deuteronomy 6:7: “You shall teach them (God’s commands) diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” God desires Christian parents to talk to their kids and show them, both in speech and by how they live, what it means to follow the Lord.

When tasked with such an important command, I wish God would elaborate and give us a list of exactly how we should disciple our children. But like many things in life, it’s not that simple. We can’t just follow a checklist and be guaranteed that after everything is checked off, we will have a perfect little Christ follower. When it comes to discipling our children, God is just as concerned with our hearts as He is with our actions.

Prayer as a Foundation for Discipleship

Raising our children to know and love the Lord must start with prayer. This is such a seemingly simple step that we don’t always stop and marvel at what a gift this is. The Creator and Lord of the universe has allowed a way that we can communicate with Him. He speaks to us through His Word, and we are able to speak back through prayer.

Prayer not only allows us to communicate with God, but it forces us to admit our inability to control our lives. Prayer forces us into a humble disposition before the Lord. By praying, we admit that we cannot raise our children by ourselves and need God’s help. Psalm 127:1 says, “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.”

In other words, we can do all the right things—read the Bible with our kids, pray with them, memorize Bible verses, and study catechisms with them—but unless the Lord softens their hearts, nothing will happen. God is the builder of the city; God is the one who saves our children, not us. As parents, it is first and foremost prayer and our dependence on God that will help our children come to know and love the Lord.

Personal Faith as a Foundation for Discipleship

We cannot give what we do not have. If we don’t know and love the Lord ourselves, it will be nearly impossible for us to model and guide our children into a relationship with God. Imagine how difficult it would be to explain what a tree looks like to our children if we have never seen one ourselves. How much more difficult would it be to talk to our children about God being their creator and loving savior if we ourselves don’t know God to be those things?

God has beautifully designed us to marvel at amazing things. When I get a good deal on something I found at a store, the first thing I do is text either my husband or a friend and tell them what an amazing deal I just found. How much more should I be eager to share with my children all the amazing things I have seen God do in my life and what I read about in the Bible?

Sharing our love of God with our children is a natural overflow of our own personal love for Him. God has designed us to love that which is beautiful. This is why we love seeing shooting stars, colorful sunsets, and majestic deer. We can’t help but take pictures or call for someone else to enjoy them with us. Sharing our faith with our kids doesn’t always have to look like a 10-15 minute family devotional time. Those times are important, but discipling our kids also looks like taking a nature walk and marveling at how wonderful our creator is by admiring Him through His creation.

Grace as a Foundation for Discipleship

We will fail. We will mess up. But we are still asked to continue discipling our children. There will be times when our children ask questions that we don’t know the answer to. In these moments, we can pause and tell our children, “That’s a really great question. I actually don’t know the answer to that. But let me find out.” If they are old enough, we can sit down with a Study Bible or reliable commentary and read it together to find the answer. Many times, this has made a greater impact on my children than when I know the answer to their questions.

The Lord is gracious in allowing us to be a formative part of our children’s relationship with God. This is a privilege and a gift, but we must remember that it isn’t our work which saves our children. 1 Corinthians 3:6-7 says, “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.”

We are asked to plant the seeds and water them. But we must pray, knowing that it is God alone who gives the growth. This may seem scary, but it is actually gracious of the Lord. We were never designed to bear the burden of someone’s salvation, including our child’s.

Discipling our children is a journey of faith and trust in God’s grace. As parents, we are called to plant the seeds of faith in our children's hearts, nurture them through prayer and personal example, and trust in God to bring about growth. Start small and start today. Whether through a simple prayer, a shared Bible verse, or a meaningful conversation, every step you take is a step toward fostering a lifelong relationship with God.

If you are looking for more resources on discipling our children, please listen to the Mom Guilt Podcast episode “Mom Guilt: Discipling Our Kids” here.