Is Prioritizing Love Un-Christian?

Recently, the Vice President of the United States made a comment that sparked criticism from some Christians. Was he right? Was he wrong? Should Christians prioritize their love for others?

The Quote

Here is the quote from Vice President J.D. Vance:

But there is this old school, and I think it’s a very Christian concept by the way, that you love your family and then you love your neighbor, and then you love your community, and then you love your fellow citizens in your own country. And then after that you can focus and prioritize the rest of the world.

The Question

While we know that God is love (1 John 4:8) and the Bible calls us to love brothers (1 John 2:9-10), neighbors (Matthew 22:37-39), and foreigners (Deuteronomy 10:19), does this mean that there can be no prioritization among those groups?

Let’s consider what Scripture says.

What does the Bible say?

As noted above, the Bible calls us to love others. This includes the people closest to us, our family and friends (1 Timothy 5:8; John 15:12-13). It also includes people outside our immediate circle, such as neighbors and even foreigners (Matthew 22:37-39; Deuteronomy 10:19). The very mission of the Christian church is to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:18-20). This is the most loving thing we can do since it involves sharing the gospel of eternal life through Jesus, and the Lord calls us to take that message to the ends of the earth.

So both our mission to share the gospel and our call to love extends to the ends of the earth. But does this mean there can be no prioritization? Is there really no order in which we carry God’s love to the world?

Jesus’ final words to his followers before leaving the earth were these: “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth” (Acts 1:8). These words are spoken in Jerusalem. So Jesus tells his followers to bear witness to his resurrection where they are at, then in the surrounding region (Judea and Samaria), then to the ends of the earth. While some are called to travel to a foreign place to share the gospel, and any believer can support such foreign mission efforts, we are failing in God’s mission if we do not share the gospel with those in closest proximity to us.

1 Timothy 5:8 says “if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” While Christians are called to share love far and wide and to be generous, if a believer doesn’t prioritize care for their own family, they have missed the heart of God.

1 Timothy 3:4-5 says that in order to be qualified to serve as an elder in God’s church, a man must first manage his own household well. If someone isn’t loving and caring for those closest to him, then he isn’t ready to care for the next level of proximity.

In Romans 9:1-3, the Apostle Paul shares his deep anguish for his kinsmen. While Paul labors to bring the gospel to Jew and Gentile alike, he expresses a unique concern for his fellow Jews.

In John 13:35, Jesus says that his disciples will be known by their love for one another. While they are called to love the world, Jesus’ disciples must first love their brothers and sisters in Christ, the church (see also Galatians 6:10).

There are many examples in Scripture of self-sacrificial love (John 15:12-13), and even of sacrificial love for people of another national or ethnic group (Luke 10:25-37). However, translating Jesus’ call to individual disciples into national policy takes careful interpretive work. Sacrificing one’s own life or money for another may not be the same as sacrificing the money or well-being of a nation by their leaders.

While Scripture calls Christians to love people to the ends of the earth, the Bible also supports an order of priority by proximity calling us to care for those closest to us and then carry our love further out.

Life in the World

As human beings living in a broken world, we do have to make decisions about limited resources. Every day we each choose how to allocate our time, energy, and money.

Each of us could spend all our resources on ourselves, spend it all on someone else, or some combination of the two. Each of us faces seasons where we have more available resources or less, and seasons of greater or lesser need for ourselves or our families. Our decisions about resource allocation must be rooted in biblical principles and apply those principles to practical realities around us.

Consider an example from family life. If my neighbor lost his job and isn’t able to provide food for his kids, it would be loving for me to help out by providing food for his kids for a time. However, if I provide food for my neighbor’s kids and let my kids go hungry as a result, that is not loving but irresponsible. Why? Because I have been entrusted by God with the responsibility of being a father, and thus I must prioritize my own children.

If we take this example further, we can see how complex these situations can become. If after 6 months I am still paying for my neighbor’s food and he is not pursuing a new job, am I still being loving or am I enabling unhealthy behavior? Of course, these principles could also be abused. Just as some might neglect their own family in order to help the neighbor, some might claim that they can’t help their neighbor at all in the name of prioritizing their family. Sometimes there are also opportunities for creative solutions. If resources were tight, might it be a great opportunity for family discipleship for me to talk with my family and decide that we could give up ice cream sacrificially for a time in order to have the funds to help out our neighbor?

The situation becomes even more complicated when we extend beyond the individual and the family to the nation. Just like each of us and our families, our nation also must make decisions about how best to allocate limited resources in a broken world. Our leaders must use sound principles in the face of practical realities.